THIS IS ALL ABOUT ME

About Me | home | VICKY PICS | my pics | pics1 | pics2 | pics3 | Contact Me
JOKES

                     Cremated husband

Martha recently lost her husband.

She had him cremated and brought his ashes home.

Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the patio table.

Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him....

"Herman, you know that dishwasher you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money!"

She paused for a minute tracing her fingers in the ashes then said, "Herman, remember that car you promised me? Well, I also bought it with the insurance money!"

Again, she paused for a few minutes and while tracing her fingers in the ashes she said, "Herman, that diamond ring you promised me? Bought it too, with the insurance money!"

Finally, still tracing her fingers in the ashes, She said, "Herman, remember that blow job I promised you?"

"Here it comes."

A duck walks into a bar and asks: "Got any Bread?"

Barman says: "No."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No, we have no bread."

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No, we haven't got any bread!"

Duck says: "Got any bread?"

Barman says: "No, are you deaf?! We haven't got any bread, and if you ask me again and I'll nail your dang beak to the bar you irritating dang duck!"

Duck says: "Got any nails?"

Barman says: "No"

Duck says: "Got any bread?

                                     GREEDINESS IS NOT GOOD
             This is about a couple who have been married for over 10 yrs and they are a little bit rich at most they can feed themselves.
              One day, one of their neighbor that borrow money from the husband came knocking while the wife is busy taking her bath, and the husband in the room readind newspaper. So this woman came to the door to see the person knocking, unknowinly tothis woman, she did not know that this man borrow mone from her husban, so this man now ask the woman that if she can just open her towel so that he could see her private part, he will give the woman $5000, so this woman agree to do this, after this woman have open his towel he now gave the woman the money and left, not uite later, the husband ask the woman "is that the guy that owe me $5000?" the woman is now looking down speechless. CAN YOU NOW SEE THE REWARD FOR GREEDINESS
 

BACK TO HOME